Life Isn't Easy For Me...
a hurt
once too great to bear
hurt
one too many times
a hurt
once too great too bear
yet now
just another bad dream
another pain
another hope
thrown to the side
another name
etched upon my heart
another pain
that no longer hurts
hurt
one too many times
a pain so great
that it doesn't hurt at all
confusion
over so many times
too many things
so that
they cancel each other out
one by one
disappearing into the night
until i wake
thinking of you
one i was lost
once i was hurt
once i was cut too deep to heal
yet found me you have
and fixed me you have
you healed the wound
that i couldn't heal alone
the future may bring pain
the future may bring happiness
yet regardless
i'll always love you
the future may bring decisions
that i may want to change
yet your friendship alone
is more than enough for me
and plenty more
than i deserve
Thursday, July 5, 2007
I have no idea why``
Today, I skip school and stay at home and slack. However, i was scolded by my mum for not attending school. haix.. i was angry and moody the whole night. how i wish that i can share my feelings with him. i having my dinner and i ate too much chilli and cause myself to have stomach pain and it is so painful. he didn't care about me... sad.. but i also can't blame him for that. he doesn't know anything. i sms him and ask what's he doing. no reply. after the last msg which i ask him to go back to sleep, no reply from him. i wonder what could have keep him busy and not replying my msg. haix. i called him at around 930pm, i asked him wat is he doing. the first respond was who are you? i was so disappointed. u mean u can't recognized my voice, this is the feeling i get. haix... he was in his fren's hse. he feels that i don't sound alright, but i told him i'm okay. in fact i'm really okay. anyway, i also don't wish to bother him as he's at his frens hse. he could have told me that so i dun have to wait for him to reply me. i just burst into tears after i hang up the fone. i have no idea why, i just feel like crying that's all. i need someone to tell me why i will cry. is it i worried about him too much?, is it i miss him too much?, is it i'm too happy that he cares for me?, or is it something else?. I DON'T KNOW!!!!! i kept thinking that if he really thinks or worry that i'm not alright, he would call me. this is what i believe. i guess i'm too silly. how would he know that i'm not okay when i told him i'm okay. till now, i still feel like crying. well, it is not important anyway. Just let it go. Why bottled up all this feelings, no point. Right? :)
Garfield``___22:11
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