Thursday, November 24, 2005
~day of hopeless
I felt hopeless and hopeless each and every day. Friends around me seems so cold to me. I have never felt that i belong to here,whether i'm in church or school or cca.I felt that i always left behind.When i'm in class,No one talk to me. I felt that i'm not belong to this class.I felt so lonely.I wonder is there anyone really care for meI simply have no ideaWhy i felt that no one ever care for me?All this really make me feel depressedAm i really suffer from depression?
Garfield``___02:38
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
~Locked box~
I locked myself in
for my own odd reasons
it's to keep you out
and hem me in.
The door isn't strong
nor is it weakit's serving its purpose
and not just for a week
It's my shieldmy barrier
just like my sucky wall
which fell as you well know
I had two copies of the key
one had been misplaced
the other was thrown haphazardly away
worthless thing
there's no need for it
I'm not coming out
especially not now
not until Sonata is heard
Garfield``___09:37
Friday, November 18, 2005
~ is that so difficult to be my fren?
haix.. sad too.. i have know idea what's happpening to my fren around me. is it because of my attitude or is them? i really duno. i'm stress!!! GOD HELP ME!!! haix... i have this fren telling me that he feel like a trash. i was confused and ask why? he said... everytime i'm sad or happy, i tell him all my feelings. den he felt very sad and depressed. den he say that i nv care for him or show concern about him when he is sad. is like hey, he didn't tell me that he is sad la. he nust talk to me as usual. what is this man... then i said den next time i dun tell you and my feelings lor. since it seems like i cause you to be depressed. you know what he said? he said, if i dun tell him, he will feel worried about me. OH MAN.. what am i suppose to do? is he still my best friend? or no longer le. whenever i tell him i went home with my fren instead of him, he's like not happy and flare up duno for what reason. today, i tell him that i will go to a showcase of my fren's design, then he said, go la go la... what respond is that man!!! it seems like i have offended him. i nv lose temper or do or say anything. tell him that and ask him to decide he wanna go anot... den said if u wan me go n come to my clz then i go. all decision lie on you. Seee.... he is the one who decide whether he wanna go anot, not me. I totally have no idea what's happening to him and i? is it i'm the problem or is him. Aiya.... i duno la... very stress.. feel like crying.. sometimes it really make me think is he a best fren to me. whatever... i shall not think too much about it. haix... anyway is kinda long one.. haha... or maybe not.. hehe...
Garfield``___09:06
Friday, November 11, 2005
~ a day that shock me
Oh my... i was shocked when i saw my last post was 4th oct. It's more than a month that i didn't blog. *faint* anyway, i was kinda lazy and busy to blog for the past few days. haha.. maybe i might blog more often recently. =) i guess i have slack enough in sch.. it's time for me get working... hmm... each and everyday go sch juz to think what to eat for lunch... can't blame me.. cuz my sch near orchard so everytime so dere eat. moreover sch food suck... yesterday, i had my english o'level exam. the exam was quite alright but duno y i so scared. haha... hmm.. i think is also time for me to go back to band practice.. i have been missing for a long time. i guess i have to do some work... haha... if not sure scold by my team members... hhaha.. =)
Garfield``___02:35